Breaking a size issue with any potential girlfriend

Attila the Hung

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I don`t know if this is something you would be up for or interested in, but maybe you should look into doing some boxing or MMA to give you some confidence. I am not average in size or below it, but just slightly above average and yet for most of my life I was convinced I had a small penis and this affected me a great deal just like you.

But, once I discovered boxing I threw myself into it with a passion that has remained with me to this day, and I can`t say enough about how much it helped me mentally. I still wasn`t having any success with women during that time but I had come to the point were at least I knew I was a lean, mean fighting machine and I knew I could do some serious damage to anyone who brought it upon themselves.

It is quite a confidence boost when you know you can handle yourself if things get heated, and frankly just being in the ring sparring is such an adrenaline rush that after I left the gym each time I felt I could take on the whole world and that nobody could beat me and eventually I noticed some female attention during those times when I would leave the gym and go do some errrands and it dawned on me one day that I was just oozing confidence and this is why women were noticing this.

So if for no other reason I would recommend you give that a try to give yourself some much needed confidence, I know it helped me immensely. Not with getting laid though as I was far too shy and uncomfortable to start any kind of convo or anything to capitalize on the attention I was getting, but at least you will notice that you are getting noticed and that is a good start, hope this post was helpful to you in some way.
 

unzipped

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Hey man, I would add, just do it! You are both adults....hell, maybe she has body image issues.... dim the lights, put her hand on your bulge, tell her how hard she is making you, kiss with your tongue deep.... rub her tits and enjoy... there are plenty of folks that cannot have these pleasures due to injury, or whatever..... man FUCK yer brains out... and report to us the details... (smiles )and good fuck to ya)
 

basincreek

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Once again, you are completely missing the point. Your penis is not all you are, it is a part of who you are, a component in a package. Saying that you absolutely must have a woman who "cares nothing at all about girth" doesn't make sense. You need to realize that what the woman will care the most about is you.

Well, hopefully.

Ugh! Where do you find these people? Please do not conceal your volunteer work from potential partners. It is part of who you are, and to the vast majority of people, it is an impressive part.

Well, from the perspective that women like bad boys it made sense to conceal it.

Okay...you have a point here. No, I do not suggest you lie if asked. I think that, if asked, you need to tell the truth. But in all likelihood it won't matter to her that much.

I do wonder why there is the attraction to guys who've had hundreds of female partners. I mean doesn't that just seem like a great way to share STD's?

I have reviewed these pictures, and I still say you have a nice face and it is not unpleasant to look at. You also happen to have very sensual lips, IMO. Oh, and the camping pic isn't bad -- you actually look kind of hot with that stubble. :wink:

Huh, that's unexpected. Granted I haven't asked any women what I look like in many years. I figured once you were ugly you stayed ugly.

You are on a large penis site, which attracts guys with large penises, gay guys who don't have a big penis themselves but like big penises, and women who are interested in large penises! Is this a surprise?

No, not a surprise at all.

For some reason I completely do not understand, this site seems to also attract some straight guys with average or smaller-than-average sized penises. I'm not sure exactly what you guys are looking for here, but if it's a representation of what most average women want, you are in the wrong place!

This is about the only place where frank discussions of this nature can take place. And I've found your feedback to be very reassuring.

And this is a guy with a significantly smaller-than-average dick!

And I do ostensibly care about dick size, but not in his case because of who he is!

And before you jump to other conclusions, he is not exceptionally tall, or buffed, or even classically attractive.

He is intelligent, kind, and goddamned funny, though. I have always gone weak in the knees for guys who could make me laugh.

Awesome. It's nice to meet a gal who cares about the guy. I've met so many shallow women that I had become jaded.


Yes, the fact that you can't stretch them would be overcome by those other things.

If she is curious to know what being stretched feels like, or if she is feeling nostalgic for it, that is what big dildos are for.

It is possible she might not even notice the lack of stretching? I mean are there women who don't even associate that stretching feeling with sex and thus wouldn't even know to miss it?


Oh, I see my analogy there probably did more harm than good.

I think you may be ignorant of something, and that is the fact that not all of a woman's vagina has to be "filled out" for her to enjoy sex!

Interesting.

Big dicks sound fascinating but often women who actually encounter them IRL find them to be impractical in one or more ways.

I wouldn't trade my husband for anyone in the world -- he is the true love of my life, The One, my soul mate and my Dominant Master...but I do catch myself not infrequently wishing he had a smaller dick!

(Sorry, AD, if anything I've said here embarrasses you but I hope you can forgive me because I am really trying to help this guy.)

How many women would you guess are only "hypothetical" size queens? I mean girls who haven't encountered a monster but think they would like to? I wonder how many of them truly like it after the fact.

And I wish wholeheartedly that you are successful, and may someday even come to the point where are no longer haunted at all.

(((hugs)))

Being shot down by a hard core size queen for your size is a hard thing to take especially when you had a couple of months to connect at a personal level. She was, in every other respect, the most perfect girl for me I had ever met. We had so many shared interests: she liked my drawings and even became the first girl to offer to pose for me, we studied together for hours, would crack jokes and then we would complete each others jokes in class like we were some sort of act. We liked the same music, the same TV shows and talked movies for hours. We even both shared the dream of getting financially secure and building a house in the country in Vermont... we both agreed it would be a three story Queen Anne style with a back deck and a tree we would forbid the kids from building a tree fort in but they would anyway.

All lost because of..........well you already know that part of the story.
 

B_subgirrl

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Well, would that slight difference have been a deal breaker for you? Provided he still had all the same technique.

If he was still the same person, with the same technique, that difference certainly wouldn't have been a deal breaker.


I can't even imagine being with 25 different women. Wow.

If it's any consolation, I'm not getting much sex now :smile::frown1:


Again........wow.:eek: I really couldn't imagine doing that. Two women wanting me on one night is not even something I could dream of and believe as possible.

It was actually three guys in one night :redface:. It just so happened that all three of my FBs were available that night. Usually, because of their schedules they were more spread out, but on this night . . .


Actually I never have dreams where I have sex, period. Even in my dreams the girls always pick another guy over me and, at best, I get to watch. It really sucks when even your dreams think the idea of you having sex is unrealistic.

I've never had a lot of sex dreams either :frown1:


Ugh! Where do you find these people? Please do not conceal your volunteer work from potential partners. It is part of who you are, and to the vast majority of people, it is an impressive part.

I'm with Belly Dancer on this one. If something is important to you, you should always be honest about it. And seriously, helping animals is a great way to pick up. Many women LOVE animals and are drawn to men who like them as well. Here's a link to a thread about what women want. Around page 9 we start discussing animals. It goes on until page 13. And while a love of animals may not be universal, for those women who do care about animals, showing that you care too really works.

http://www.lpsg.org/190248-are-these-really-things-all-9.html


I have reviewed these pictures, and I still say you have a nice face and it is not unpleasant to look at. You also happen to have very sensual lips, IMO. Oh, and the camping pic isn't bad -- you actually look kind of hot with that stubble. :wink:

Agreed!



I do wonder why there is the attraction to guys who've had hundreds of female partners. I mean doesn't that just seem like a great way to share STD's?

I think this is more urban myth than reality. There are a few women who attracted to these guys, but I wouldn't think there would be many.


Huh, that's unexpected. Granted I haven't asked any women what I look like in many years. I figured once you were ugly you stayed ugly.

Most young people (high school or maybe a little older) will only see a person as 'attractive' if the person looks like they've stepped of the cover of a magazine. As people get older they seem to develop their own ideas of what is attractive and these ideas tend to be much more inclusive.

Basically, MOST young people are shallow bastards who's only idea of attractive is based on what the media and their friends tell them. Whereas MOST older people see a lot of different looks as being attractive - their idea of what attractive means is not so narrow.


It is possible she might not even notice the lack of stretching? I mean are there women who don't even associate that stretching feeling with sex and thus wouldn't even know to miss it?

It's not so much that she 'wouldn't know to miss it'. Some women simply don't care for that stretched feeling. I don't particularly like to be stretched during sex. I can tolerate it, with practice, but it's not something I would choose.


Being shot down by a hard core size queen for your size is a hard thing to take especially when you had a couple of months to connect at a personal level. She was, in every other respect, the most perfect girl for me I had ever met. We had so many shared interests: she liked my drawings and even became the first girl to offer to pose for me, we studied together for hours, would crack jokes and then we would complete each others jokes in class like we were some sort of act. We liked the same music, the same TV shows and talked movies for hours. We even both shared the dream of getting financially secure and building a house in the country in Vermont... we both agreed it would be a three story Queen Anne style with a back deck and a tree we would forbid the kids from building a tree fort in but they would anyway.

All lost because of..........well you already know that part of the story.

I was wondering . . . were you playing around sexually or 'together' in some sense before she rejected you? Or were you still just close friends when she found out your size? I'm thinking that if it's the second one, she may have just seen you as a friend and used penis size as an out because she didn't feel comfortable telling you her feelings on the matter. Not that that's any better, but the situation may not have been quite as you saw it at the time.
 

basincreek

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It was actually three guys in one night :redface:. It just so happened that all three of my FBs were available that night. Usually, because of their schedules they were more spread out, but on this night . . .

Now a FB is something I couldn't imagine either. Someone who wants to have sex with me with no commitment? I just can't visualize that happening. That's for guys way higher up the looks totem pole than I am.

I'm with Belly Dancer on this one. If something is important to you, you should always be honest about it. And seriously, helping animals is a great way to pick up. Many women LOVE animals and are drawn to men who like them as well. Here's a link to a thread about what women want. Around page 9 we start discussing animals. It goes on until page 13. And while a love of animals may not be universal, for those women who do care about animals, showing that you care too really works.

http://www.lpsg.org/190248-are-these-really-things-all-9.html

Huh, I'm learning new stuff left and right.


It's not so much that she 'wouldn't know to miss it'. Some women simply don't care for that stretched feeling. I don't particularly like to be stretched during sex. I can tolerate it, with practice, but it's not something I would choose.

So hoping she won't notice the lack of stretch is out then.

I was wondering . . . were you playing around sexually or 'together' in some sense before she rejected you? Or were you still just close friends when she found out your size? I'm thinking that if it's the second one, she may have just seen you as a friend and used penis size as an out because she didn't feel comfortable telling you her feelings on the matter. Not that that's any better, but the situation may not have been quite as you saw it at the time.

No we were not sexual. I'm still a complete virgin. You name it and I haven't done it with a woman. But we met in class (well several at once) and things seemed so awesome and then when she proposed we start really dating that.....question came out of nowhere. She seemed disappointed but not nearly as much as I was. Being a pretty young thing she did have another guy within a month.
 

B_subgirrl

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Now a FB is something I couldn't imagine either. Someone who wants to have sex with me with no commitment? I just can't visualize that happening. That's for guys way higher up the looks totem pole than I am.

Your looks are FINE!

Besides, you don't need looks to be a FB. Just like with any other relationship, most women choose based on a lot of things. And looks isn't usually at the top of the list for most women (nor is penis size!). My relationships with my FBs have usually grown out of a combination of friendship and skill in bed. As an example, here's how my relationships with each of those three grew:

FB1: Mr 10 x 6. Looks - just an average looking bloke. We were good friends for a few months. Had lots of chats via email. The chats started drifting towards sex a lot. We got curious. We had sex. He turned out to be my best ever. We fucked once or twice a week for a few years. Then I got into a serious relationship with someone else and we lost contact. Early this year we got back in touch. The friendship is as strong as ever. Due to his situation we can't have sex as often as we used to, but when we do it is just as good. It has now been over 10 years since we first met.

FB2: Mr 6 x 5. Looks - just an average bloke. We worked together for about a year and a half and got along really well. I was hanging out at his place one day and the sex 'just happened'. He was my second best after FB1. We had sex once or twice a week for two and a half years, and the boundaries became extremely blurred. It ended when I entered the serious relationship noted above.

FB3: Mr 8 x 6 (approximately). He was GORGEOUS. As soon as I saw him I wanted him. Within a few weeks we built up something vaguely resembling a friendship, and I got him into bed. He turned out to be pretty crap. I kept fucking him for about four months (once or twice a month), but he never seemed to get any better (or maybe we just didn't click). We never got any closer either. It sort of tailed off after a while, and I was quite happy to let it happen.

Neither looks, nor cock size was common to all three guys. FB1 and FB2 were both chosen initially on personality, but it continued because of A COMBINATION of personality and skill in bed. FB3 had looks and a big cock, but had neither an attractive personality or skill in bed.


Huh, I'm learning new stuff left and right.
That's great! Keep learning :smile:


So hoping she won't notice the lack of stretch is out then.
She will almost certainly notice the difference. The point is that few women will CARE about the difference. And for those that do, there are always toys. There are very few women who find a large girth SO important that they will disregard everything else about a man.


No we were not sexual. I'm still a complete virgin. You name it and I haven't done it with a woman. But we met in class (well several at once) and things seemed so awesome and then when she proposed we start really dating that.....question came out of nowhere. She seemed disappointed but not nearly as much as I was. Being a pretty young thing she did have another guy within a month.
Oh, I really am sad for young you :frown1:. I think you actually got lucky - can you imagine being stuck with someone like that for the rest of your life?
 

Pitbull

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Pitbull wants to whack you upside the head.
You are your own worse enemy!
I only see you finding reasons to fail without trying.
One cloud in the sunny sky and it is a miserable day for you. Your problem is not your penis. Your problem is very poor self image and an overabundance of negativity.


Just look at the shit you wrote. You convinced yourself you were "repulsive" and you are better looking than me and a hell of a lot of other guys who get laid.
Why do guys not as attractive as you have success?
We don't let our looks stop us from going out the door and saying hello to some woman.
Especially since I've had some attractive gals (now taken) confess they actually thought I was cute all along. Not "repulsive"? They won't think your self image is cute. Let's work on that please.

But my problem remains. What can I do about this? Assuming I get a gal into a position where she's even willing to have sex with me how do I break this news to her? Should I alert her well in advance? Should I perhaps be prepared to let her go out and "do it" with other guys that have more normal genitalia every now and then so she'll be satiated (I really wouldn't want to do that)? Like everyone else I am wondering what is abnormal about your genitalia? Green color maybe? Double headed penis? Breaking the news? Let her be surprised. If you bring up your penis before she does you will be put in the weirdo category in most cases and that will end things before they begin.

I'm considering all that because I'm pretty sure there really aren't any reliable methods of actual enlargement. Especially for girth.Don't be so quick to write off enlargement exercises. Head over to the PE section but don't expect a 10 inch cock next week.

Emphasis mine. Slightly under average is still under average. What if she were to find out? .
If she were to find out it would mean that she has your erect penis in her hand and it could be the luckiest day of your life. :biggrin1:
 

Belly_Dancer

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I only have a 15 minutes so sorry if my responses seem a bit short.

Well, from the perspective that women like bad boys it made sense to conceal it.

There are some women who do like "bad boys," it's true. But IME the older and more experienced these women get, the less bad boys are attractive to them. Some women never seem to "get it" and get into relationships with asshole after asshole for their entire lives (it's sad to watch). But most wise up and realize that in the majority of cases, "bad boys" do not make good partners, and "nice guys" do. Then they start to go looking for kindhearted, courteous men.

I do wonder why there is the attraction to guys who've had hundreds of female partners. I mean doesn't that just seem like a great way to share STD's?

I for one am not attracted to guys who have had hundreds of female partners. If I was really attracted to a guy and came to care for him, I would be with him in spite of his history, not because of it. I don't judge people who have been promiscuous (I was myself), but there really is a difference between 35 partners and hundreds. Hundreds, to me, would be pathological.

This is about the only place where frank discussions of this nature can take place. And I've found your feedback to be very reassuring.

Ah, I see -- and you're right, the frank discussions here are part of what drew me and most of the reason I stay.

And I'm glad you are feeling reassured -- that's great!

It is possible she might not even notice the lack of stretching? I mean are there women who don't even associate that stretching feeling with sex and thus wouldn't even know to miss it?

It really depends on her level of experience. If she has only had a few partners and has never experienced anyone of a large size, she may not know to miss it.

How many women would you guess are only "hypothetical" size queens? I mean girls who haven't encountered a monster but think they would like to? I wonder how many of them truly like it after the fact.

I think this actually happens a lot (women's fantasies being bigger than their vaginas can actually take). Just ask the guys here who are unusually big -- I have seen some of them comment that it's sometimes not all that great to have a huge cock, because women think they want it, but when they actually get it, they just want to experience it as a novelty and then move on to committed relationships with more normal-sized partners.

There are both advantages and disadvantages to being in a relationship with a man who has a large penis (and to being a man with a large penis).

My husband was married to his previous wife for nearly 18 years, and during that entire time she never came to a point where she could accommodate him without pain. Their sex life suffered horribly as a result. When he first came to the Large Penis Support Group, he was one of the guys who actually needed support, because having a large penis had significantly handicapped his marriage.

Being shot down by a hard core size queen for your size is a hard thing to take especially when you had a couple of months to connect at a personal level. She was, in every other respect, the most perfect girl for me I had ever met. We had so many shared interests: she liked my drawings and even became the first girl to offer to pose for me, we studied together for hours, would crack jokes and then we would complete each others jokes in class like we were some sort of act. We liked the same music, the same TV shows and talked movies for hours. We even both shared the dream of getting financially secure and building a house in the country in Vermont... we both agreed it would be a three story Queen Anne style with a back deck and a tree we would forbid the kids from building a tree fort in but they would anyway.

Thanks for telling us more of the story...I, too, feel very bad for young you, and I understand even better why your experience had such a huge impact on you.

Now a FB is something I couldn't imagine either. Someone who wants to have sex with me with no commitment? I just can't visualize that happening.

Don't be too sure. I have fucked guys less attractive than you on a casual basis.

So hoping she won't notice the lack of stretch is out then.

Not absolutely (see my comment above).
 

basincreek

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Your looks are FINE!

Well, I know a girl named Willow that would beg to differ. Perhaps you should set her straight....wait........I no longer know or care where she is so that won't happen. :wink:

But there's a bunch of other gals from my college days that would also disagree....again if I knew where they were.

Besides, you don't need looks to be a FB. Just like with any other relationship, most women choose based on a lot of things. And looks isn't usually at the top of the list for most women (nor is penis size!). My relationships with my FBs have usually grown out of a combination of friendship and skill in bed. As an example, here's how my relationships with each of those three grew

Obviously step one to getting a FB is to get a female "buddy." Which I currently lack. My friends are no help as well because all their girlfriends have no female friends either (well except with each other).

She will almost certainly notice the difference. The point is that few women will CARE about the difference. And for those that do, there are always toys. There are very few women who find a large girth SO important that they will disregard everything else about a man.

She would notice the difference even if she's never been with someone with more girth? Or is hoping for that even statistically feasible? But, if it isn't feasible you say she will notice the difference and it will just be filed away somewhere in her mind. On a long list of attributes of me in her subconscious there will be "does not stretch me at all" listed. What if she ever relayed that bit to her friends? They would tell others and if we broke up I'd have to move to a new town to get a date!


Just look at the shit you wrote. You convinced yourself you were "repulsive" and you are better looking than me and a hell of a lot of other guys who get laid.
Why do guys not as attractive as you have success?
Uh...they're hung? They're not hung but don't mind cocaine addicts? They're hung and their dick spews cocaine? All other men have turned gay? They don't mind being with a woman they are not sexually attracted to? They found one of those awesome (but rare) women that really don't care about looks at all? Is this multiple choice?
There are some women who do like "bad boys," it's true. But IME the older and more experienced these women get, the less bad boys are attractive to them. Some women never seem to "get it" and get into relationships with asshole after asshole for their entire lives (it's sad to watch). But most wise up and realize that in the majority of cases, "bad boys" do not make good partners, and "nice guys" do. Then they start to go looking for kindhearted, courteous men.

So I have to wait until they are a used up, broken shell of their former self? Should I be trying to join AA meetings or rehab sessions for former drug users? At what age do women normaly outgrow their "bad boy" needs? 33? 35? Or is it dependent on how many kids they are now the single mother of? If so should I be looking for single moms with 2, 3 or more kids fathered by different dads?

It really depends on her level of experience. If she has only had a few partners and has never experienced anyone of a large size, she may not know to miss it.

So there is a remote possibility she will not know she is missing out on being stretched during sex. That is slightly reassuring.

At what point, in terms of the number of her former partners, should I just assume she's had thicker than me? 3? 5? 8? 10? 15? 25?

If she's had more than that number (hypothetically let's say it's 8 partners), and statistically has almost certainly had someone thicker than me, should I just write off any gal that's had more partners than that and not even try?


Don't be too sure. I have fucked guys less attractive than you on a casual basis.

Dear God, why? You clearly could have done better.
 

B_subgirrl

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Well, I know a girl named Willow that would beg to differ. Perhaps you should set her straight....wait........I no longer know or care where she is so that won't happen. :wink:

This is a GOOD attitude :biggrin1:


But there's a bunch of other gals from my college days that would also disagree....again if I knew where they were.

But they were college kids. Kids that age tend to be shallow - not all of them, but most. Even when they don't agree with the classical version of 'attractive', they certainly aren't going to say so.

I believe most adult women would say you are average in looks. Not drop dead gorgeous, and not ugly. You just look like a normal bloke.


Obviously step one to getting a FB is to get a female "buddy." Which I currently lack. My friends are no help as well because all their girlfriends have no female friends either (well except with each other).

Indeed! I'm in a similar position to you at the moment in that I have no male friends to convert into FBs. I do have two FBs, but the sex with them is rare - I need someone who is a little more available.


She would notice the difference even if she's never been with someone with more girth?

Some would, some wouldn't.


Or is hoping for that even statistically feasible? But, if it isn't feasible you say she will notice the difference and it will just be filed away somewhere in her mind. On a long list of attributes of me in her subconscious there will be "does not stretch me at all" listed.

It depends a few things.

1) If girth is what really works for her, the lack of it MIGHT bug her after a while. BUT

2) Even if she would PREFER to have a larger girth, penis size just isn't that important to most women (we keep telling you this because it is TRUE!). It is likely to be waaaaay down low on her list of 'what's wrong with you'. AND

3) Even if girth is quite important to her, most women will quite happily stay with a non-perfect penis because :)eek:) they think the PERSON the penis is attached to is wonderful. AND

4) Some women (including me) don't give a shit about girth! Most of these women will still NOTICE the difference - they just don't care!


What if she ever relayed that bit to her friends? They would tell others and if we broke up I'd have to move to a new town to get a date!

Seriously? Stop dramatising!


Uh...they're hung?

This was in answer to Pitbull's question 'why are guys who are less attractive than you successful?' (paraphrasing) right?

While on occasion it IS a motivating factor, women usually don't know a guys cock size before they get sexual with them.


They don't mind being with a woman they are not sexually attracted to?

If you are limiting yourself to women who are classically beautiful or commonly seen as 'hot',

a) You are just as shallow as you accuse women of being and you deserve what you get.

b) You are going after a type of woman who is more likely than others to be shallow herself.

c) You are closing off a large section of the population, thus greatly reducing your chances of getting fucked and getting a relationship.



They found one of those awesome (but rare) women that really don't care about looks at all? Is this multiple choice?

We keep telling you that most women do not have 'looks of a model' on the top of their list of requirements. Obviously you don't believe us.


So I have to wait until they are a used up, broken shell of their former self? Should I be trying to join AA meetings or rehab sessions for former drug users? At what age do women normaly outgrow their "bad boy" needs? 33? 35? Or is it dependent on how many kids they are now the single mother of? If so should I be looking for single moms with 2, 3 or more kids fathered by different dads?

You shouldn't be LOOKING for anyone in particular. There is no one group of women who will be most likely to jump into bed with you. There is no one group of women who will be most satisfied with your looks or your penis size.

And the 'bad boy' thing can't be generalised to ALL women! SOME women like bad boys, SOME don't.


At what point, in terms of the number of her former partners, should I just assume she's had thicker than me? 3? 5? 8? 10? 15? 25?

If she's had more than that number (hypothetically let's say it's 8 partners), and statistically has almost certainly had someone thicker than me, should I just write off any gal that's had more partners than that and not even try?

:rolleyes: See my earlier statements about girth.


Dear God, why? You clearly could have done better.

Because as we have told you OVER and OVER again - most women do not pick partners (for sex or relationships) based on looks or penis size!

I once had sex with someone who looked almost identical to this guy:

rupert-boneham-survivor-pearl-island.jpg


Why? Because he was one of the nicest, funniest guys I ever met!
 

Pitbull

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You convinced yourself you were "repulsive" and you are better looking than me and a hell of a lot of other guys who get laid.
Why do guys not as attractive as you have success?

Uh...they're hung? Nope They're not hung but don't mind cocaine addicts? No They're hung and their dick spews cocaine? Wrong & rather silly All other men have turned gay? May seem like that on this site but not true They don't mind being with a woman they are not sexually attracted to? They found one of those awesome (but rare) women that really don't care about looks at all? Wrong again Is this multiple choice? No because I gave you the answer in the post.

I do usually enjoy being right, but in your case I wish you would prove me wrong by trying to take a positive approach.
All of us posting here are trying to help you here.
Each in our own way.
Yet no matter what anyone says you have an answer as to why the suggestion will not work.
We float our little thought balloons and you shoot them down.
Understandably at 31
you lack optimism after encountering more than your share of nasty inconsiderate people who lack basic decency when it comes to the feelings of others. You are a virgin and have not had much at all in the way of a social life.
You feel like a total failure.


The question is - "What are you going to do about it?"
Do you want to resign yourself to failure.
Reject all suggestions.
The failure becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you want success then you must at least try.
Be prepared for more failure.
Learn to deal with rejection.
The men who have success with women and the women who have success with men move on after rejection. They do not close themselves off like a clam that shuts its shell and burrows into the sand at the bottom of the ocean to hide.
Keep trying and eventually you will have success.
But you must keep trying.
And you must change.
Embracing excuses for failure is not the way to go.

Here is some wisdom that is true although you may not believe:

Sex is not as important to most women as it is to most men.
Most women do not want to have sex with someone they hardly know.
Since sex is an intimacy they want to be attracted to the person they are having sex with.
Most women do not care how big your penis is.
In most cases women have made the decision to have sex and have no idea how big their partner is.
If a man is attractive to a woman in the important non sexual categories, even the women who prefer larger will accept smaller.
If a man is not attractive to a woman in non sexual categories, then his large penis is not going be of any benefit.

Most men are good for about 15 minutes when having sex. Women want the other 23 hours and 45 minutes to be quality time.

If you want a woman, then she has to like you.
Do not expect a woman to like you until you can like yourself.

I would guess if I took a poll of everyone who posted in this thread everybody would say that you can find who would like to have sex with you and you would find attractive also. Everybody. Except you.

We all know it is possible.
We have seen your picture and your looks are fine. Not GQ model handsome but they are fine.
You have given the measurements.
Women who have expressed a preference for the larger man have said those measurements are fine.
Believe them.
If they are fine for them, they are fine for 99% of the female population.

What you need to do is believe in yourself and take positive steps.
You cannot change penis size dramatically (although again most women don't care)
You cannot change your looks.
You can change your style.
You can put a smile on your face.
You can work on the things that you can change.
Attitude and self esteem.
Work on doing things to interact with women and start becoming friendly and social and asking them out.
What you are doing with regards to your social life isn't working.
Change it.
As many times as necessary until it does work.

You will find success.
Might take weeks.
Might take a year or longer.
Men and women who you think have successful social lives are often struggling with life out there.
Most men do not get laid anywhere as often as they would like. Many have gone long periods of time without.
Resolve to do what it takes.
Need to start by meeting some women and showing them a positive you. No excuses as to why you cannot.

If not you cannot do the above then you will continue to wallow in your self pity.
The rest of us will give up on you if you have given up on yourself.


 

B_subgirrl

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I would guess if I took a poll of everyone who posted in this thread everybody would say that you can find who would like to have sex with you and you would find attractive also. Everybody. Except you.

Actually I'm voting that if the attitude never changes, he'll never get anyone. If the attitude changes, I'll make the vote a definite yes!

Other than that I thought your post kicked ass! Pitbull speaks words of wisdom.
 

Pitbull

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Actually I'm voting that if the attitude never changes, he'll never get anyone. If the attitude changes, I'll make the vote a definite yes!

I agree with that 100%


I thought your post kicked ass! Pitbull speaks words of wisdom.

Thanks for the compliment!

This is the Men from Mars woman from Venus problem.
The solution is for the man to understand a woman.
Then he can appreciate her and she will responds positively to his appreciation and understanding.
So the key for a man is to listen to the woman.

LPSG is great because a woman on the other side of the planet can be anonymous enough to feel totally comfortable telling us men what we need to know.
It is honest and truthful.
All we have to do is listen, process the information and act accordingly.
(If we are smart)
 

curioustitan

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"But the confidence thing. I've read on here before that some of you get angry if a guy is confident and then turns out to be even average size"

You're confusing confidence with arrogance in the case of the women being annoyed with these individuals...and you don't sound arrogant...
And OMG but LaFemme sounds like the sweetest girl....Man oh man.. a hook up between her and you sounds like just what you need.
The trick here (should you continue struggling with your confidence) is "FOREPLAY" "FOREPLAY" "FOREPLAY"... From what i understand from my 'overshare' sister and her 'TMI' friends is that they wish their partners would last a little longer regardless of dick size. Most males cum a lot sooner than their female counterparts which is far bigger problem for women than issues of length or girth. Besides, there are endless arrays of sexual techniques and positions that enhance penetration and clitoral stimulation, designed for all sizes..... The world is a melting pot of big dicks, small dicks, weird dicks, and ... well dick-heads...like your ex. The enemy here is...to re-iterate the others... a lack of self confidence. If you're really that concerned and need to build up a little confidence... then hire a chinese nymphomaniac hooker to do all sorts of little nasties and build/stroke your ego...and cock....
Failing this....look me up when in S.A.... I'm an egalatarian and you're super cute :)

"I love sam_solo26"
 

Belly_Dancer

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She would notice the difference even if she's never been with someone with more girth? Or is hoping for that even statistically feasible?

I think it is statistically feasible...but not probable, but that may not matter much, and here's why (allow me to geek out for a while):

According to the following study done by the CDC, the median number of lifetime sexual partners for women is 4.

New Survey Tells How Much Sex We're Having

Let's err on the side of caution and say that she is a woman your age and yet has already had 4 partners. If you are roughly in the 40th percentile for penis size, then it is probable that she has had 2 or maybe 3 partners that are (a little) larger than you.

However, do not despair.

The chances that she has had a partner a lot larger than you are much slimmer.

According to LifeStyles circumference data, only 1 in 4 guys has a penis of 5" circumference or larger.

For 5.5", it is about 1 in 10. And for 6", it is about 1 in 75.

So, statistically, the likelihood is that she may have had 1 guy with 5" of girth, zero or 1 guys with 5.5" (closer to zero), and the probability of her having encountered a 6" girth is so small it is virtually nil.

Putting all this together, the point is that most or all of her partners have had <5" of girth, which to me, is not a big enough difference from 4.5" to cause that much of a different sensation. Neither girth for me is enough to make me feel "stretched," but I am capable of feeling pleasure from either girth (based on experience, not guesswork). So for all practical purposes, IMO, they are the same.

Therefore, 75% of her partners have felt (IMO) not all that much different than you will feel.

Now, if she has had less than the median (say, one or two partners -- and there are many, many women out there for whom this is the case), then the statistics indicate neither of her partners have been significantly larger than you (enough to make a real difference in sensation).

I really hope this information helps you, which it should if you focus on the positive and don't zero in on the negatives.

But, if it isn't feasible you say she will notice the difference and it will just be filed away somewhere in her mind. On a long list of attributes of me in her subconscious there will be "does not stretch me at all" listed.

Yes, and as subgirrl so eloquently expressed, in the grand scheme of things this is not that important.

What if she ever relayed that bit to her friends? They would tell others and if we broke up I'd have to move to a new town to get a date!

Again I'm totally with subgirrl -- stop dramatizing!

Uh...they're hung? They're not hung but don't mind cocaine addicts? They're hung and their dick spews cocaine? All other men have turned gay? They don't mind being with a woman they are not sexually attracted to? They found one of those awesome (but rare) women that really don't care about looks at all? Is this multiple choice?

I am now adding wittiness to your list of positive attributes. :smile:

So I have to wait until they are a used up, broken shell of their former self? Should I be trying to join AA meetings or rehab sessions for former drug users? At what age do women normaly outgrow their "bad boy" needs? 33? 35? Or is it dependent on how many kids they are now the single mother of? If so should I be looking for single moms with 2, 3 or more kids fathered by different dads?

Okay, now this pisses me off.

The first time around I married essentially a "bad boy" -- before meeting me he had been lead guitarist in a fairly popular band in Oakland for five years. He was a former drug user. He still smoked and abused alcohol. He had long hair and a tattoo. He was cocky and not all that kind. He had slept with over 100 women.

Take a good look at me now. Am I used up? Do I appear to be a broken shell? Am I a former drug user or alcoholic?

The answer is a resounding "no!"

During the time I was with my ex, despite our problems, or perhaps because of them, I grew as a person. If I was ever a broken shell, it was when I met him -- at the time I had virtually no self-esteem and my only real requirement in a man was that he be extremely unlikely to ever leave me or abandon me -- not a healthy basis on which to build a relationship, or choose a partner.

During the years in which that relationship failed to fulfill me or make me happy, I discovered my self-esteem. I became unashamed to be my true self. I became able to stand on my own two feet. And no, this process did not happen overnight, and it was not finished by the time I was 23, or 26. I would say I was approximately 30 by the time I truly knew I did not need my ex.

But you are approximately 30! So what if it takes some women until they are over 30 to figure out what they really need! And WTF is wrong with a woman of 33, or 35? If you are ruling out women over 30, then you are severely limiting your options!

Now say the woman you meet is a single mother.

So fucking what???

A number of women your age are going to be mothers, whether they ever liked bad boys or not. If she is a good person and you love her and she loves you, WTF does it matter?

Some of the friends I have had who were/are single moms have been among the strongest and most mature, stable people I know! If you are eliminating women from your choices based on them being single moms, IMO you are making a mistake.

At what point, in terms of the number of her former partners, should I just assume she's had thicker than me? 3? 5? 8? 10? 15? 25?

See above.

If she's had more than that number (hypothetically let's say it's 8 partners), and statistically has almost certainly had someone thicker than me, should I just write off any gal that's had more partners than that and not even try?

No, no, no! Again you are displaying a really low opinion of women.

For the last goddamned time, the vast majority of us are NOT shallow enough to reject a good man based on the size of his cock!!!

Dear God, why? You clearly could have done better.

Everyone needs a hobby. For a time, mine was having sex. I have had lots of friends. Many of them were guys. Some of them were cute, some weren't. If I genuinely liked them, it didn't matter. I enjoyed expressing my affection for them, sometimes by sleeping with them.

I have always been a very giving person. That is just who I am. If a guy I liked wanted to have sex with me, and I wasn't currently in a relationship, then I would have sex with the guy -- looks just weren't part of the equation.

...Other than that I thought your post kicked ass! Pitbull speaks words of wisdom.

Agreed. Pay attention to Pitbull.

And subgirrl.

And me.
 
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basincreek

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But they were college kids. Kids that age tend to be shallow - not all of them, but most. Even when they don't agree with the classical version of 'attractive', they certainly aren't going to say so.

I was also skinny in college...then there was that whole rejection by Fauna, the going suicidal and institutionalizing...when I got back to College I was overweight.....then my older brother really did kill himself and I dropped out for good.

Now I have a totally flat stomach (and am working to get that washboard) and a .75 shoulder to waist ratio.

I believe most adult women would say you are average in looks. Not drop dead gorgeous, and not ugly. You just look like a normal bloke.

So I should take that as neither an insult or a compliment. :tongue:

I'm actually not sure what to do with that since, for me, there is no such as a "normal or average looking" woman. I either find her attractive or unattractive and the reasons for her being in either category are many and not exclusively limited to her appearance. For example I consider Lindsay Ellis (she does internet video reviews as The Nostalgia Chick) to attractive (and thus, to me, sexy) even though many guys think she's just "meh."

Indeed! I'm in a similar position to you at the moment in that I have no male friends to convert into FBs. I do have two FBs, but the sex with them is rare - I need someone who is a little more available.

We're on separate continents.....just letting you know. :wink:


It depends a few things.

1) If girth is what really works for her, the lack of it MIGHT bug her after a while. BUT

2) Even if she would PREFER to have a larger girth, penis size just isn't that important to most women (we keep telling you this because it is TRUE!). It is likely to be waaaaay down low on her list of 'what's wrong with you'. AND

3) Even if girth is quite important to her, most women will quite happily stay with a non-perfect penis because :)eek:) they think the PERSON the penis is attached to is wonderful. AND

But how much of a deficiency might this have on the relationship if the above is true? She doesn't leave me because she likes me but still wishes I was girthier.....does that cause a slow simmering resentment over time? Could that lead to her trying to find other faults in me to "rationalize" a breakup to find someone who is a bit bigger or would she just have it down on a list of my imperfections she doesn't care much about like the slight acne scarring on my back that I really hope she also doesn't care about?

4) Some women (including me) don't give a shit about girth! Most of these women will still NOTICE the difference - they just don't care!

I sincerely hope I find someone like you.


Seriously? Stop dramatising!

Well, I've had some "dramatic" experiences with this issue. It tends to creep back up.


If you are limiting yourself to women who are classically beautiful or commonly seen as 'hot',

a) You are just as shallow as you accuse women of being and you deserve what you get.

b) You are going after a type of woman who is more likely than others to be shallow herself.

c) You are closing off a large section of the population, thus greatly reducing your chances of getting fucked and getting a relationship.



I think I already explained my thinking on this above. Just so you know, back in college I was typically into nerdy girls and, strangely, they were usually much meaner in rejecting me than the more classically "hot" girls who were usually much more polite about it. Fauna being a glaring exception.


We keep telling you that most women do not have 'looks of a model' on the top of their list of requirements. Obviously you don't believe us.

I can believe they don't require "looks like a model" but I do assume they want him to be attractive in some capacity. Can you be attracted, even sexually to just some "average bloke?"


You shouldn't be LOOKING for anyone in particular. There is no one group of women who will be most likely to jump into bed with you. There is no one group of women who will be most satisfied with your looks or your penis size.

Damn, that would have made it much simpler.

And the 'bad boy' thing can't be generalised to ALL women! SOME women like bad boys, SOME don't.

Well, that's a relief. Of course if they were into "good guys" from the start then they're probably taken.


Because as we have told you OVER and OVER again - most women do not pick partners (for sex or relationships) based on looks or penis size!

I once had sex with someone who looked almost identical to this guy:

View attachment 103804

Why? Because he was one of the nicest, funniest guys I ever met!

Yikes....I mean good for you. I once fell for a girl named Tara who was in shape but very, very plain but man she was smart and witty! Unfortunately she was one of those gals that constantly dated jerks so I never had a shot and never asked her out.

All of us posting here are trying to help you here.
Each in our own way.

And I thank you all for doing so. I am learning an awful lot and am gaining a bit of confidence in this regard. This thread is the first place I've head that I'm anything but hideously ugly and you have no idea how nice that is.

Understandably at 31 you lack optimism after encountering more than your share of nasty inconsiderate people who lack basic decency when it comes to the feelings of others. You are a virgin and have not had much at all in the way of a social life.
You feel like a total failure.

So far you are hitting the nail on the head.


The question is - "What are you going to do about it?"

What I first did was get off my duff and get in shape. Ten months ago I had a 39 inch waist and a 39 1/2 inch chest----yeah not good. Now I've got a 34 7/8 inch waist and a 42 1/2 inch chest.

Keep trying and eventually you will have success.
But you must keep trying.
And you must change.
Embracing excuses for failure is not the way to go.

Okay.


If a man is not attractive to a woman in non sexual categories, then his large penis is not going be of any benefit.

I have a friend that refutes that. Actually it's kinda sad.

This guy, Rick, is a total misogynist. He hates women. He really thinks they shouldn't be voting and stuff. But he is HUNG! So he's always got these women coming buy, mostly college aged girls, to fuck them and he says terrible things to them the whole time. He leaves his door open so I've seen the hate in their eyes as he says those things while fucking them.

Then one day I found one of the girls out by the steps crying. Not being an asshole and having the feeling of empathy I actually went over to hear what was wrong. Basically she was hating herself for continuing to come back and have sex with this guy she totally hated because she liked his penis.

I didn't really know what to way to her then.....I still don't know what I should have said....but it was really sad and still kinda bothers me. I hate seeing tormented souls like that.

And in case you're wondering why I hang out with the guy....well he was friends with my now dead brother and we basically just hang out to play video games and BS about the old days.

I would guess if I took a poll of everyone who posted in this thread everybody would say that you can find (someone) who would like to have sex with you and you would find attractive also. Everybody. Except you.

I assume you left out what I inserted in the parentheses. I hope you are right. Because there are those we find attractive and those that find us attractive and when they do not intersect it can be a real problem.


You have given the measurements.
Women who have expressed a preference for the larger man have said those measurements are fine.
Believe them.
If they are fine for them, they are fine for 99% of the female population.

Okay.....I suppose the only use Diamond would have for me would be as a footstool. TinyPrincess would possibly let me cook for her then tell me to leave.

But if they are truly aberrations, even in their own level physical attractiveness, I can live with knowing that.

Lot's of good advice snipped....

You're confusing confidence with arrogance in the case of the women being annoyed with these individuals...and you don't sound arrogant...
And OMG but LaFemme sounds like the sweetest girl....Man oh man.. a hook up between her and you sounds like just what you need.

LaFemme is taken...isn't she?

The trick here (should you continue struggling with your confidence) is "FOREPLAY" "FOREPLAY" "FOREPLAY"... From what i understand from my 'overshare' sister and her 'TMI' friends is that they wish their partners would last a little longer regardless of dick size. Most males cum a lot sooner than their female counterparts which is far bigger problem for women than issues of length or girth. Besides, there are endless arrays of sexual techniques and positions that enhance penetration and clitoral stimulation, designed for all sizes..... The world is a melting pot of big dicks, small dicks, weird dicks, and ... well dick-heads...like your ex. The enemy here is...to re-iterate the others... a lack of self confidence. If you're really that concerned and need to build up a little confidence... then hire a chinese nymphomaniac hooker to do all sorts of little nasties and build/stroke your ego...and cock....

I'm not into hookers. Or else I would have made the short hop over to the Bunny Ranch a long time ago.
Failing this....look me up when in S.A.... I'm an egalatarian and you're super cute :)

"I love sam_solo26"

So you can have gay sex with me????? Funny story: I accidentally dated a gay guy in college. I had no clue he was gay and kept treating me to these nice dinners, which I thought were just because he really liked my company, when the truth came out........awkward.
 

basincreek

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I think it is statistically feasible...but not probable, and here's why (allow me to geek out for a while):

According to the following study done by the CDC, the median number of lifetime sexual partners for women is 4.


Let's err on the side of caution and say that she is a woman your age and yet has already had 4 partners. If you are roughly in the 40th percentile for penis size, then it is probable that she has had 2 or maybe 3 partners that are (a little) larger than you.
....

So, statistically, the likelihood is that she may have had 1 guy with 5" of girth, zero or 1 guys with 5.5" (closer to zero), and the probability of her having encountered a 6" girth is so small it is virtually nil.

Putting all this together, the point is that most or all of her partners have had <5" of girth, which to me, is not a big enough difference from 4.5" to cause that much of a different sensation. Neither girth for me is enough to make me feel "stretched," but I am capable of feeling pleasure from either girth (based on experience, not guesswork). So for all practical purposes, IMO, they are the same.

Therefore, 75% of her partners have felt (IMO) not all that much different than you will feel.

Okay, so she probably won't feel much difference assuming she's only had 4 partners.

But what about more partners?

I am now adding wittiness to your list of positive attributes. :smile:

Oh, now you might like this. I wrote this for a friend who was all worried about alien invasions I was thinking of submitting it somewhere. You might enjoy it.
Four Reasons Aliens Won't Invade Earth

Okay so we’ll assume that you are not Amish or living in a cabin in Montana composing anti-technology manifestos and are aware that within the genre of media entertainment known as “Sci-Fi” (not to be confused with SyFy, which, near as I can tell, is not entertainment and is barely media) there have been a lot of plot lines that center around alien civilizations coming down and invading our asses (meaning Earth, not anyone’s actual sphincter). There is the usual interplay of skeptical scientists/absentee dads/cable network technicians who detect, and or try to warn people, who of course do not listen (that would be bad for plot padding) about the impending invasion. Then when the invasion happens, and anything is tried, the aliens have machines that are essentially invincible (sort of like Charlie Sheen’s career only with fewer STD’s) via technology that borders on “magic”. Whether this is the same “magic” that keeps the Kardashian sisters relevant in the face of all logic is open to debate.

Now the possibility of the threat of extraterrestrial invasion is not something just relegated to bad B-movies and crappy late night filler you turn your TV to when the softcore on Cinemax gets boring and you simply do not want to see another penis enlargement infomercial. You see none other than Stephen Hawking has brought this issue up and I’m pretty sure he has way more credibility on this matter than all of Hollywood put together (and fewer of those pesky STD’s and coke habits).

However, would aliens even want to do this? I propose they would not for the following four reasons.

Our Resources Are not Worth It

One of the most common reasons trotted out for why ET has decided to do a blitzkrieg of Earth is that they need our precious resources. Sometimes its minerals, sometimes it is us (which I’ll get to in the next bit), sometimes it’s water and sometimes it’s gold. Because aliens from planets that can explode at any moment should some idiot bring a Zippo lighter back from Earth as a souvenir really like gold.

Here’s the thing, that stuff is like everywhere!

Want Iron, Mars is literally covered in it! Need Magnesium? There is probably loads of it on Eris. Water? Comets dude. But, here’s the kicker, aliens wouldn’t even need to come to our solar system for that stuff. Iron is like the sixth most common element in the whole freaking universe. Magnesium is ninth and there are many places these aliens could mine this stuff.

Ever hear of something called Gliese 581 d? It’s an exoplanet that’s twenty light years away. Know what Gliese 581 d has? Loads of stuff aliens might want. Know what Gliese 581 d doesn’t have? Humans! Nasty trigger-happy humans with guns and tanks that would put up all this annoying resistance to any alien incursions and just make things take forever. Now, sure you might be saying the aliens would surely defeat us with their superior weaponry and lack of French allies. But why would they want to go that trouble? Building war machines takes resources themselves. Training armies is not going to be cheap or easy. So why expend that effort to take down humans on Earth when you could just get the stuff on Gliese 581 d without the need for war? Unless the same geniuses that ran Lehman Brothers into the ground also run the aliens (Take on $600 billion in dubious bad mortgage debt? Sure!) this is just a no brainer.


We’d Suck As Slaves

Ahh, you say, they want to enslave us. Okay, why? Once again, you have to make a cost/benefit analysis for this. In what way would humans be valuable enough to justify building a huge military that then needs transportation light years across the galaxy?

Are you going to use humans in factories or as servants? No, you've got robots that can do that stuff. Robots that will do it well without sulking and pissing in your drinks when they get mad.

Are you going to use humans as beasts of burden? I would think that would be unwise. There are so many other beasts with more strength and stamina than us plus there would be a marked decrease in the chance of the beasts using their sentient intelligence to plot an uprising.

Are you going to farm them as food? This would just be inefficient. Humans require an enormous amount of food energy just to stay alive. Aliens would surely have better staple food sources that would give you much more bang for your buck. In addition, there would be a marked decrease in the chance of the other food using its sentient intelligence to plot an uprising.

Are the aliens performing medical experiments on humans? Well this is supposedly already happening but, again, you would have to ask what medical experiments are worth the cost. Unless the aliens have some sort of weird virus that can only be properly studied in the bowels of drunken rednecks in Alabama this just seems like a waste of resources that would probably yield little useful scientific data for the aliens.

H.G. Wells Was On To Something

The ending of the classic novel The War of the Worlds is often wrongly cited as a deus ex machina. In reality, H.G. Wells was onto something. When you think about it viruses could be a huge threat to aliens provided they have a similar basic inheritability structure like our own DNA. However, even if they do not there would be all sorts of problems. Now Earth, for us, is great. That is because we evolved on the planet and Natural Selection took biological life down a path that was suited to the basic conditions. There was plenty of sunlight, hydrogen and sulfide so early photosynthesis was very suitable to arise. Later when water and carbon dioxide became plentiful photosynthesis changed and started producing oxygen. That in turn led to the emergence of aerobic life.

That sequence of evolution all happened on Earth because of the conditions present. Who knows what will happen on alien worlds. We, so far, know of only one abiogenesis event. How others might happen can be speculated as ranging from “who knows” to “probably really ******* weird!” As such what alien life will be like can only be speculated about at best and at worst it will be so strange that we may not even recognize it as life at all if we came across it. As such the odds that Earth would be habitable for aliens is about the same as me going home tonight and finding Megan Fox in my bed for some reason. Therefore, in order to colonize Earth it would have to transform in radical ways to suit the needs of the alien race….and of course that all comes after they defeat us with their “magic” weapons.

Really, if they can travel light years, it would probably just be easier for them to put more effort into scouting in order to find planets that are more suitable to colonize.

It’d Be Easier To Just Nuke Us From Orbit
(it’s the only way to be sure)

However, remember how I touched on the possibility that we might not even recognize alien life if we came across it? Well that works both ways. Alien life might come down and not even see us as like life. They may just see us as some weird mobile carbon blobs that are in the way. If that is the case then they might want to get rid of us.

It is also possible that they have been worshiping Little Rascal’s broadcasts as Gods and have come to unleash unimaginable wrath for our unceremonious blasphemous discontinuation of that program. Again, if that is the case they might just want to get rid of us.

Either way an invasion would just be stupid. They already have interstellar capabilities so why land on the planet and do it the hard way? Are they hardcore Heinlein fans that just have boners for infantry? Probably not as I imagine aliens being more into Niven. Besides, as I alluded to earlier, they may not even have biology suitable to infantry style battle. If they are just brain blobs or containerized thought electrons they would be just so much more suited to unleash a huge barrage of some ungodly weapon (possibly some combo of nerve gases, bombs and neutrinos) that not even Michael Bay can conceive of….yet.

Now, granted that would be bad (well, it would also be the end of JerseyShore….which is good). And it would be the end of us, but it would not be an invasion. It would just be us going about our normal things; going to work, streaming porn, playing video games when all of sudden…..Zap! We are gone, the Zlyklans take over, and we never even perceived it let alone had time to worry about it.

Heck, maybe that all happened in 1994 and today we are all just brains in jars today being screwed with by Zlyklan teenagers for giggles. If so I would beg them to have some mercy and let me live in a mansion somewhere…or at least get some pity sex from Ellen Page.
Okay, now this pisses me off.

The first time around I married essentially a "bad boy" -- before meeting me he had been lead guitarist in a fairly popular band in Oakland for five years. He was a former drug user. He still smoked and abused alcohol. He had long hair and a tattoo. He was cocky and not all that kind. He had slept with over 100 women.

Take a good look at me now. Am I used up? Do I appear to be a broken shell? Am I a former drug user or alcoholic?

The answer is a resounding "no!"

During the years in which that relationship failed to fulfill me or make me happy, I discovered my self-esteem. I became unashamed to be my true self. I became able to stand on my own two feet. And no, this process did not happen overnight, and it was not finished by the time I was 23, or 26. I would say I was approximately 30 by the time I truly knew I did not need my ex.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that but I'm glad you got your self esteem back and have flowered into a wonderful person.

So what if it takes some women until they are over 30 to figure out what they really need! And WTF is wrong with a woman of 33, or 35? If you are ruling out women over 30, then you are severely limiting your options!

I'm not ruling anyone out, not for age. If you were single and lived nearby I wouldn't rule you out.

Now say the woman you meet is a single mother.

So fucking what???

A number of women your age are going to be mothers, whether they ever liked bad boys or not. If she is a good person and you love her and she loves you, WTF does it matter?

It doesn't. It would be weird to go from being a virgin to helping to raise a kid literally overnight but I think I could do it.

Actually for a long time, when I though I was too ugly to ever get a woman, I was saving up money to one day pay some lady to be artificially inseminated by my sperm, then give up the kid to me so that I could raise my own child and kinda have the family I always wanted. I even had the sperm ready in a facility should the opportunity arise.

Everyone needs a hobby. For a time, mine was having sex. I have had lots of friends. Many of them were guys. Some of them were cute, some weren't. If I genuinely liked them, it didn't matter. I enjoyed expressing my affection for them, sometimes by sleeping with them.

I have always been a very giving person. That is just who I am. If a guy I liked wanted to have sex with me, and I wasn't currently in a relationship, then I would have sex with the guy -- looks just weren't part of the equation.

I'll say you were "very giving person" having sex with guys that looked like me in order to express your affection for them. Not a lot of people would make that sacrifice to have sex with people they are not sexually attracted to (in this case the poor bastards that looked like me) as a way to show "affection." How worked up and into the sex can you get though, when you aren't actually physically attracted to the person?
 

Pitbull

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So I should take that as neither an insult or a compliment. :tongue:

Take that as a realistic assessment.
We are what we are.
Acceptance is required.


I'm actually not sure what to do with that since, for me, there is no such as a "normal or average looking" woman. I either find her attractive or unattractive and the reasons for her being in either category are many and not exclusively limited to her appearance.

Time to start getting to know women as people. Look at their insides.
I need some attraction.
We all do.
One thing that increases a woman's attractiveness to me is when I know she finds me attractive.

I can believe they don't require "looks like a model" but I do assume they want him to be attractive in some capacity. Can you be attracted, even sexually to just some "average bloke?"

Sure she can. By definition most of us are average. Again if there is not too much emphasis on looks and you are looking beyond that you will find a beauty you never knew was there.


Yikes....I mean good for you. I once fell for a girl named Tara who was in shape but very, very plain but man she was smart and witty! Unfortunately she was one of those gals that constantly dated jerks so I never had a shot and never asked her out.

How do you know you never had a shot?
You might have.
You were so afraid of hearing her say no that you passed on giving her the opportunity to say yes.


And I thank you all for doing so. I am learning an awful lot and am gaining a bit of confidence in this regard. This thread is the first place I've head that I'm anything but hideously ugly and you have no idea how nice that is.

Where have you been hanging out? I don't want to go there. If I do, I might get the ugly comments and take some of the pressure off of you.
But I can handle it because I don't give a shit about what stupid people think.


Understandably at 31
you lack optimism after encountering more than your share of nasty inconsiderate people who lack basic decency when it comes to the feelings of others. You are a virgin and have not had much at all in the way of a social life.
You feel like a total failure.


So far you are hitting the nail on the head.

Well it is obvious.
What you need to understand is that most of us have felt this way about something in our life to some degree.
Not as low as you are right now.
But to climb out of your hole you will have to do it one step at a time.
There is no elevator.




What I first did was get off my duff and get in shape. Ten months ago I had a 39 inch waist and a 39 1/2 inch chest----yeah not good. Now I've got a 34 7/8 inch waist and a 42 1/2 inch chest.

Great.
Now let's start working on the other things that need work.



Most women do not care how big your penis is.


I have a friend that refutes that.

There are exceptions to every rule.
Lets focus on the rule.
So Mr. Big Penis the Jerk managed to find women who were fools to fuck.
We are talking about you.
"Average Bloke" who cannot dangle a freakishly large penis in front of some horny woman like a worm on a hook.
You will need to attract woman the way most men do (shocker - even most men with large penises :eek:) by getting to know them and being nice.


I assume you left out what I inserted in the parentheses. Correct - sorry I didn't proofread

I hope you are right. Because there are those we find attractive and those that find us attractive and when they do not intersect it can be a real problem.
You are not alone.
Happened to me more than once.
Time to find someone where the attraction is mutual.


You have given the measurements.
Women who have expressed a preference for the larger man have said those measurements are fine.
Believe them.
If they are fine for them, they are fine for 99% of the female population.

Okay.....I suppose the only use Diamond would have for me would be as a footstool. TinyPrincess would possibly let me cook for her then tell me to leave.

I did say 99% of the population.
Don't go pointing to the shameless size queens and trying to say I'm wrong.
I don't know Diamond.
I have never had any interaction with Tiny Princess but have read her posts.
She would be so lucky if I cooked for her because I am a hell of a good cook. Then she would tell me politely when it was time to leave. Maybe because of my penis size, maybe because of my abdominal girth :tongue:, maybe because of my lack of good looks. Thinning hair? Too much hair somewhere besides my head. :confused: Wrong age? Wrong politics? Who knows.
But my impression of her is that she is an absolute doll. And if I'm going to be rejected, I would rather it be by someone super sweet and super sexy like her. It might actually feel good because I would have had a wonderful time with a wonderful sexy woman.
I don't go to dinner with a woman expecting to get laid.
So I can never be disappointed.

Oh! Wait.
There might be a second date?
And who knows.
Could get lucky.
My cooking is that good!

Stop agonizing about your penis and sex.
I don't want to be negative but you are being a little premature here.
First things first.
Lets work on going out with someone.
Then when the sex happens
If there is a problem you can deal with it then.

What I'm telling you is that women do not think in these terms.
They like a guy.
When they like him enough - they have sex.
Most of the time it is not spur of the moment. Don't believe the "I didn't mean it to go that far stuff" (I'm going to get beat up on this one).
They have figured out in advance if they like you enough.

They don't know about your penis yet but have made a decision to have sex.
Then once it happens, you will be judged on so much more than your penis size. I won't claim it doesn't matter. But it all the other stuff - including when to you call them back that determines if they want to have sex a second time. Trust me.
 
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B_subgirrl

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The first time around I married essentially a "bad boy" -- before meeting me he had been lead guitarist in a fairly popular band in Oakland for five years. He was a former drug user. He still smoked and abused alcohol. He had long hair and a tattoo. He was cocky and not all that kind. He had slept with over 100 women.

Take a good look at me now. Am I used up? Do I appear to be a broken shell? Am I a former drug user or alcoholic?

The answer is a resounding "no!"

Belly Dancer, I have read your blog from beginning to end. I was extremely moved by your constant growth and re-discovery of yourself. I will second your resounding no :smile:


Everyone needs a hobby. For a time, mine was having sex. I have had lots of friends. Many of them were guys. Some of them were cute, some weren't. If I genuinely liked them, it didn't matter. I enjoyed expressing my affection for them, sometimes by sleeping with them.

I have always been a very giving person. That is just who I am. If a guy I liked wanted to have sex with me, and I wasn't currently in a relationship, then I would have sex with the guy -- looks just weren't part of the equation.
This sounds scarily familiar :biggrin1:.


Agreed. Pay attention to Pitbull.

And subgirrl.

And me.
Please do!


So I should take that as neither an insult or a compliment. :tongue:

As Pitbull said, it was a realistic assessment. Although as my view (and Belly Dancer's and Pitbull's) of your looks seems to be rather higher than your own view of your looks, you should probably take it as a compliment.


I'm actually not sure what to do with that since, for me, there is no such as a "normal or average looking" woman. I either find her attractive or unattractive and the reasons for her being in either category are many and not exclusively limited to her appearance. For example I consider Lindsay Ellis (she does internet video reviews as The Nostalgia Chick) to attractive (and thus, to me, sexy) even though many guys think she's just "meh."
I just googled her - she's kinda cute. When looks are separated from personality, there are plenty of 'average' looking people out there. Most people fall into this category. It's for when people aren't drop dead gorgeous or repulsively ugly. Until you know a person, most are just 'average'. It's when you get to know them and can add in personality that these 'average' people become beautiful and attractive.


We're on separate continents.....just letting you know. :wink:
:biggrin1: It seems like EVERYONE is on a different continent to me.



But how much of a deficiency might this have on the relationship if the above is true? She doesn't leave me because she likes me but still wishes I was girthier.....does that cause a slow simmering resentment over time?
Probably not, although it might with some women. Everyone has faults though - no one is ever perfect. I could have given you a list of my ex's faults. Did they cause simmering resentment over time? Nope - not most of them anyway. I could give you a list of my FBs faults. Do they cause resentment? Nope. Only the really important things cause simmering resentment, and for most women your penis won't be one of them.

You need to stop being so scared of what MIGHT happen. By being scared of the negative, you are also shutting out any chance of the positive happening.


Could that lead to her trying to find other faults in me to "rationalize" a breakup to find someone who is a bit bigger or would she just have it down on a list of my imperfections she doesn't care much about like the slight acne scarring on my back that I really hope she also doesn't care about?
Most likely it would be in the acne scarring category :tongue:


I sincerely hope I find someone like you.
I hope you find someone MUCH nicer than me :tongue:


Well, I've had some "dramatic" experiences with this issue. It tends to creep back up.
No more creeping! No more dramatising! Only realistic assessments are allowed from now on. That means you have to stop visualising the absolute worst that could happen and focus on what is MOST LIKELY to happen.


I think I already explained my thinking on this above. Just so you know, back in college I was typically into nerdy girls and, strangely, they were usually much meaner in rejecting me than the more classically "hot" girls who were usually much more polite about it. Fauna being a glaring exception.
Interesting. Maybe the 'hot' girls had more experience with rejection, so had learned to be nicer about it?


I can believe they don't require "looks like a model" but I do assume they want him to be attractive in some capacity. Can you be attracted, even sexually to just some "average bloke?"
Most definitely. If only the 'better than average' guys got screwed, there wouldn't be a lot of sex going on and there would be very few babies.

Most of the guys I have fucked have been 'average looking blokes'. As I said earlier, only three out of 25 were initially pursued based on looks. And I'm not at all sure other people would have classified them as good looking, they just happened to appeal to me.

For me, attraction is not usually physical initially. The attraction usually comes from their personality. I tend to like loud, confident types who stand out from the others because of their presence, although some of my partners (in fact one of my serious relationships) have been quiet types. I like people who are kind (although I often forget about this one for one night stands), and people who aren't scared to share their opinions. I like people who are passionate about stuff - it doesn't really matter what it is they are passionate about. I like people who can entertain me, and who I can have a conversation with. I like people who appear sexually confident (even if this is fake confidence) and people who are open about sex. It really doesn't matter to me what they look like. If they have most of these personality traits, chances are I will find them attractive.


Damn, that would have made it much simpler.
Yep, but life ain't simple.


Yikes....I mean good for you. I once fell for a girl named Tara who was in shape but very, very plain but man she was smart and witty! Unfortunately she was one of those gals that constantly dated jerks so I never had a shot and never asked her out.
You should have given it a go. What's the worst that could happen? She says no? Big deal. Move on and try again with someone else.


And I thank you all for doing so. I am learning an awful lot and am gaining a bit of confidence in this regard. This thread is the first place I've head that I'm anything but hideously ugly and you have no idea how nice that is.
So what have you learned? I know it will take a while to internalise it, but the more often you say it (to yourself and others), the more you will start to believe it.


I have a friend that refutes that. Actually it's kinda sad.

This guy, Rick, is a total misogynist. He hates women. He really thinks they shouldn't be voting and stuff. But he is HUNG! So he's always got these women coming buy, mostly college aged girls, to fuck them and he says terrible things to them the whole time. He leaves his door open so I've seen the hate in their eyes as he says those things while fucking them.
What can I say? Some girls are stupid. Some girls will accept being treated like shit, in exchange for a small amount of attention. Some girls feel as though they aren't worth anything more. I doubt his cock size had a lot to do with it for most of them.


Okay.....I suppose the only use Diamond would have for me would be as a footstool. TinyPrincess would possibly let me cook for her then tell me to leave.

But if they are truly aberrations, even in their own level physical attractiveness, I can live with knowing that.
Indeed they are rather unusual in their preferences, even on a big cock site. There are many more women, even here, for whom a big cock isn't necessary. The number of posts where people are asking for help because the man is too big shows that a big cock can even be a bad thing for many women.


Oh, now you might like this. I wrote this for a friend who was all worried about alien invasions I was thinking of submitting it somewhere. You might enjoy it.

Very entertaining!
 
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