I wrote about this a little bit in my last blog post but I think it might be applicable here.
Watching guys have sex is an intense experience because it appears one is submitting completely to the other. That's not what's happening. If a guy bottoms or sucks off another man then it's his choice to do so. The man who is topping or getting sucked is actually the one who is submitting. He's allowing control of the experience to pass from himself to the man who is allowing penetration. If the receiver did not want to do these things then he would not do them and the act would not take place. If a guy is getting fucked then it's his choice to get fucked. If a guy is sucking another guy then it's his choice to suck.
With straight porn there's a tendency to automatically equate
female with
submissive and
male with
dominant. When we see men take on the apparently passive role there's a little shock to our expectations of what role the male
should take. That's a socio-culturally loaded expectation and one that, in porn, misleads. Porn is exaggerated, less real than we'd like. Many times the people being filmed feel as if they have to act certain roles.
A few weeks ago I was at a bear run, essentially an orgy for bears, otters, and admirers, and I had the privilege of watching two men who were very in love with each other. The sex was nothing like it was in porn. It was beautiful to watch these two men express their sexual desire in love and respect. I felt deeply moved to see something so intimate and it gave me hope that one day I'd find something similar in my life.
It makes me feel like guys are more emotionally sensitive than I realized. Maybe that's where the discomfort comes in.
An honest man is emotionally vulnerable because he's human. He wants love and respect as much as another man. When he yields himself to another man, in the most noble sense, he's doing so out of love. And that's a very fine thing in the world.
All my experiences have been with peeps I'm close to. Sorry again for the misunderstanding. I was just interested in other's feedback.