Too old to be a virgin?

[B_horribleperson]

17

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I don't think you're ever too old to be a virgin. I think that you'll have sex when the time is right. If you do it, fine... if not, then that's just as fine.

Viking1... if you need help beating the clock, lemme know. :wink:

 

[B_andyo]

after 10 years old you start to get old to be a virgin...

 

[Principessa]

. Viking, I told ya before, work on your self-esteem and appearance. What's wrong with his appearance? I think he's a nice looking guy and he's smart... I'd do him. :05: :flirt: Most of the women I know like a man who has self-confidence. True! You have many good traits, you are just too down on yourself because of your weiner. I saw his cock pics, he looks a nice size, much bigger than the last guy I was with. :redface: Ease up on Viking1 he is in a sensitive place right now. He is dealing with depression and physical illness and that ain't easy. I know because I have similar issues, I can't imagine how frustrated I would be if I had to add virginity to all that.

I'm 46 and still a virgin. Yes, it definitely sucks, but nobody ever told me life wouldn't suck... Some of us are racing the clock. You know, the clock always wins, eventually... Hmm, maybe we should hook up and see if our clocks are synchronized. :05: :flirt:

I don't think that's fair njqt466, what if you just haven't met anyone that's right for you? I apologize if I am being harsh but I just find it hard to believe that you haven't met anybody even remotely interesting or attractive.

I agree that around 25 you are getting too old to be a virgin. That's when it starts to be a problem because most potential partners will have much more experience than you. I don't think thats the issue. I think that by 25 you are usually out of college and working. So suddenly you aren't attorney Jovial or Dr. Jovial you ar Dr. Jovial the virgin. It becomes part of your identity whether or not you want it to. You could find a cure for breast cancer and at the end of each news report it would be stated that you are also a virgin.

They teach us to wait to have sex until we meet the right person. They just want us to not have too much sex too soon because of the dangers. But some of us take it too literally and end up being 25 and still virgins. BINGO!

*snip* So I guess I'm saying even if you are still a virgin when older, if you just "go for it" and can get into an ongoing relationship with sex, then I don't think you will be too bad off after that.

You say "what if you just never met anyone, or just never had the chance?" I think if you have more experience with sex then you'll realize that there are chances all the time that you just don't see. People you meet that in the past you thought "no way" but now think "maybe". So my advice to an older virgin is don't wait for someone perfect or right, or you may be waiting forever. I'd take his advice. he sounds like the voice of experience. Also VERY FEW people have great sex the first time out. So don't worry about lasting for an hour or making her cum... it ain't gonna happen. Just be prepared for a do over. :biggrin1: Trust me each time gets better. :smile:

If you are comfortable with yourself and virgin by choice, you are never too old to be a virgin. That's just it nobody that asks that question is comfortable being a virgin or they wouldn't be asking!

I don't think you're ever too old to be a virgin. I think that you'll have sex when the time is right. If you do it, fine... if not, then that's just as fine. Clearly it's not fine or all these men wouldn't be bitching about it.

Viking1... if you need help beating the clock, lemme know. :wink:

 

[canZ]

I don't think there is a such thing as being too old, unless of course you waited until nature isn't rising anymore

 

[Rugbypup]

Well, if nothing else, it's clear most people have a view on this, be it not bothered to almost out and out offended by it.

Well, here my point, yeah I am a 29yo virgin and I guess it’s because I honestly have never had the opportunity to explore my sexuality. I’ve always lived in a fairly remote area; have never been the most confident of men and looking back at it now grew up in a very homophobic environment. Name one kid growing up in the 80/90s that wanted to be labelled a bent, faggot or queer, name a kid that honestly knew what that meant, lol.

Growing up, I kind knew I wasn’t the same as the other guys, there were similarities sure but it was clear with an almost unspoken recognition that there was a difference. I was never a sporty 'jock' and was clearly amidst the legion of Sci-Fi 'nerds', although I never attended a Star Trek conference, lol.

I always figured whatever was ‘wrong’ with me (not really understanding I was probably gayer than str8) was something that would fix over time, I would grow out of as it were. But as I got older the differences between me, my attitudes, my understanding was still different from that of your average classically identifiable red blooded male.

To guys around me them, sex was everything and virginity was like acne, something you’re desperate to get rid of. Ever remember the saying, ‘Who’s looking at the fire place when you’re stoking the fire’? or ‘Any port in a storm’? or ‘Why have a dog and bark yourself’? I remember think that was kind of cold, I actually wanted to have a positive opinion of whoever I was going to sleep with not just shag about like a dog with two dicks, an attitude I’ve consequently paid for with men and women it would seem. Retrospectively, it’s kind of amazing how other people immaturity at times could be our only frame of reference.

So whatever was 'broken' in me was not going to be fixed anytime soon and as a kid, to a teen to a young man, this is exceptionally difficult to rationalise, accept or understand which makes relationships platonic or otherwise difficult to form. Although I have always been attracted to women, well, some anyway, I can honestly say the opportunity to have sex with women never presented itself.

Women have always kind of frightened me a bit, their attitudes towards guys, (when growing up at least) was they had to be super confident, ridiculously strong, square jawed, broad shouldered, rough house accents, stubble faced sports gods with a massive cock and anything that didn’t broadly conform to that ideal was 'just good friends' material or 'someone that makes me laugh' and as that’s what women want, men around you reinforce it just to get laid. Women seem to be self-denying and contradictory about masculinity sometimes, but basically, the long and the short of it is, that as a man if you are perceived as non-sexually threatening to a women, or not regarded as 'one of the lads' by other men, you are dismissed as a sexual mate.

And yeah, as time goes but, (which it bloody does) your confidence goes down till you reach the point women are fine as mates but unapproachable as sexual partners, then you come to the realisation that, shit, I really wouldn’t know what to do with one even if I did manage to attract one, lol.

At 26/7 I slowly came to the painful realisation that I was most likely gay, an understanding nearly impossible to accept given my life circumstances but the only one that seem plausible. Now at 29, having tried my best to understand the gay world after feeling and proving to be such an abject failure in the str8 world, I can honestly say I just have never met anyone for me. As women are dismissive, guys can be just plain arseholes, lol.

Nice guys do finish last and why, because no one really wants them, you have to be willing to be a complete bastard sometimes, deep down that what people want even if they don’t want to see it, despite what some people say, that much is true. People, male and female DO judge you harshly for being a perceived older virgin, rightly or wrongly.

I am both accepting, comfortable and deeply embarrassed and ashamed of myself for being a virgin at 29. But considering I didn’t really know my arse from my elbow till I was 26/7, I think a couple of years in the gay world is an acceptable amount of time to not have shagged the first guy that came my way. I’m willing to pay the price for not ‘just making do’ or ‘settling for’ and that price is being inexperience and frankly lonely for as long as it take to find someone right for me.

How’s that for too much information, lol

I think now, the only way i'd want to sleep with a women is as part of a threesome, with a bigger more confident male there, showing me what the fuck i should do, lol

 

[Industrialsize]

Well the pope for one should get his act together and get some pussy.

I bet he prefers dick......

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

For me, I'd say 16. I lost mine at 15 and I think it was the right time. For anyone else... whatever works for you.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Well, here my point, yeah I am a 29yo virgin and I guess it’s because I honestly have never had the opportunity to explore my sexuality. I’ve always lived in a fairly remote area; have never been the most confident of men and looking back at it now grew up in a very homophobic environment.

Have you read the Gay Metropolis?

 

[Rugbypup]

No, whats that?

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

A recent book about how until the 1940s gay life in America was largely off the radar because many gay men experienced a similar story to your own- growing up in small towns feelings disconnected and isolated and without much opportunity to explore their sexuality. Then they were drafted and sent to large cities like New York and San Francisco to be shipped out and among these large groups of men discovered that homosexuality wasn't as completely aberrent as they thought.

Anyway, maybe you need to move.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

. Viking, I told ya before, work on your self-esteem and appearance. What's wrong with his appearance? I think he's a nice looking guy and he's smart... I'd do him. :05: :flirt: Most of the women I know like a man who has self-confidence. True! You have many good traits, you are just too down on yourself because of your weiner. I saw his cock pics, he looks a nice size, much bigger than the last guy I was with. :redface: Ease up on Viking1 he is in a sensitive place right now. He is dealing with depression and physical illness and that ain't easy. I know because I have similar issues, I can't imagine how frustrated I would be if I had to add virginity to all that.

I'm 46 and still a virgin. Yes, it definitely sucks, but nobody ever told me life wouldn't suck... Some of us are racing the clock. You know, the clock always wins, eventually... Hmm, maybe we should hook up and see if our clocks are synchronized. :05: :flirt:


My comments to Viking were made based on past postings and things we've said to each other. He has made remarks about his appearance, and weiner size. If it's getting him down, it would help him to work on them. Personally, I think working on self-confidence would be a huge boost for a lot of us. My health problems are frustrating me to no end.

One of the most handsome men I've ever known had a peanut, and two raisins. Erect, he wasn't even 3 inches long. He was tall, muscular, furry, and very athletic. He had zilch in his pants. He didn't even need a jock when he played sports. Yet he had major self-confidence. The women flocked to him.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I'd say by the time you have your first kid, you're too old.

Nah, that's just youthful experimentation. Don't you think that by your 4th kid, then maybe that's too old?

 

[Rugbypup]

All well and good, but self confidence isnt an over the counter product is it.

I am a very confident man in some regards, i bungee jump and sky dive, i just have little confidence when intermatly interacting with people, how do you find confidence in that?

Its a fragile catch 22, you need to do it to build it but are to afraid to try it, and even the slightest knock from someone much more confident that you sends you down to square one all over again.

Special relativity and jumping out of plains, peice of piss, dating, kissing and sex, scarier that a box of spiders. lol

 

[Rugbypup]

I think it might just be something tall, hung men have difficulty in understanding.

Physical stature gives a man an instinctive confidence that need little reinforcement from the world around him. Short, shy and small men have to work easily twice as hard just to find the same level of instinctive confidence.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

All well and good, but self confidence isnt an over the counter product is it.

I am a very confident man in some regards, i bungee jump and sky dive, i just have little confidence when intermatly interacting with people, how do you find confidence in that?

Its a fragile catch 22, you need to do it to build it but are to afraid to try it, and even the slightest knock from someone much more confident that you sends you down to square one all over again.

Special relativity and jumping out of plains, peice of piss, dating, kissing and sex, scarier that a box of spiders. lol

If someone comes along, and knocks you back to square one, they may not be that confident in themselves. Confident people don't need to put anyone down.

Pup, life is a journey not a destination. It has ups, downs, and sideways trips. We have to work on it every day. Have some fun along the way, make a difference when you can, and take it one day at a time. I hope you find happiness lil bro.

 

[griplock22]

Physical stature gives a man an instinctive confidence that need little reinforcement from the world around him. Short, shy and small men have to work easily twice as hard just to find the same level of instinctive confidence.

nope, being short and small has nothing to do with confidence problems . there are loads of short small men that are oozing confidence. also many tall large men that arent confident at all.
being shy shouldnt be connected to that at all.

 

[Rugbypup]

I would at this point, like to thank you all sincerly for your posts, i really am aprciative of other opinion...

LPSG really is a friendly and inteligent environment and im pleased to be counted as a member.

...all be it a not very big one, lol

 

[rob_just_rob]

All well and good, but self confidence isnt an over the counter product is it.

I am a very confident man in some regards, i bungee jump and sky dive, i just have little confidence when intermatly interacting with people, how do you find confidence in that?

Its a fragile catch 22, you need to do it to build it but are to afraid to try it, and even the slightest knock from someone much more confident that you sends you down to square one all over again.

If you don't have confidence, fake it. Eventually you'll start believing your own act.

And I'm being perfectly serious.

 

[Dave NoCal]

Pup, it's important to give yourself a break and heed what you wrote yourself, about only having had two years of really knowing yourself. Gay youth are generally isolated both by social expectations and their own sense of difference. As such, many miss out on the normal experiences of adolescence during their actual adolescence. They don't get set up with dates, can't compare notes, generally can't turn to parents or other typical mentors, don't have access to the sexual information that is relevant to their lives. I could go on but, as an obviously smart guy, I'm sure you get the point.
Many gay men go through a second adolescence in their twenties, when they can leave their restrictive surroundings. Sometimes they act like adolescents for a few years. It's understandable and normal. It seems to me that your self development is appropriate to a young gay man. The problem, I suspect, is that you are comparing yourself to straight men who face one less set of stressors and constraints.
I recommend that you start by reading the book NIC recommended and go on to other readings about gay history and life. If part of your struggle is religious, there are excellent books that critically appraise and challenge the oppression we often experience. I'll add that reading is a fairly non-threatening way to begin exploring more of this and put your life situation into a realistic context. It helped me.
Chin up!