Wry Rhymes and Lairy Limericks

[798686]

As I was walking down the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today,
I wish that man would go away!​

I feel that there isn't sufficient artistic outlet on LPSG for the prodigiously untalented among us. So if anyone has any funny poems or rhymes they'd like to share with us - feel free to post them here! :biggrin1:

I shall be posting several of my own (plagiarised) masterpieces in due course.

 

[Zorgolio]

Here's a pretty funny limerick from a video game.

There was once a red wizard from Thay
who never had time to play.
His patience eroded
until his head exploded
and the stain never quite went away.

 

[798686]

Marvellous, Zorgs!

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

there once was a guy named flameboy
he'd sucker you in with this ploy
he'd show you his dick
which he'd pull and he'd flick
then squirt it at you like a toy

 

[798686]

The Peanut Poem​

A peanut sat on the railway track,
His heart was all a-flutter;
An express train went rolling past,
And now he's peanut butter!​

It's in the mold of a Shakespearean tragedy. :wink:

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

all of us in the chatroom know jollocks
he's famed for his very small bollocks
they're tiny but spunky
and close up smell funky
but they're super for kinky old frolics

 

[798686]

lmao hehehe

 

[flame boy]

A Haiku:

She's Spoiled Princess
Can I Sit On Your Throne Please?
I've Got My Own Crown

 

[flame boy]

One more Haiku,

Jamie Ford! They Cry!
Please! No! I beg you to stop!
Police Can't Save You...

 

[JF]

Flame Boy, he is known
for roaming the Bristol lanes
picking up stray men.

 

[798686]

The Barmaid​

There was a young lady named Kotch,
Who knew how to pour a good Scotch;
But one man was rude,
And brushed past her boob,
And caused it to fall out her top! :smile:​

(I'm liking the Haiku ones! - even though I don't understand stuff that doesn't rhyme, hehehe)

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

in the chat room we all know miss Patch
she's famed for her giant sized snatch
its a greedy old glutton
it looks like boiled mutton
or a facesucker fresh from the hatch

 

[798686]

*off to eat a pineapple*

 

[nudeyorker]

There are members here who live to chat...
Their witty reparte always includes tit for tat....
With out gallery's or cams we don't know if they are thin or fat...
But in their reports to the mods they can always sniff out a rat!

 

[798686]

Hehehe - masterpiece, Nudeyorker!

 

[flame boy]

Joll, Joll, Joll, that poor old soul
Once put his cock in a toilet roll
But he got into a rut
When the damn thing got stuck
So now he sticks it in much bigger holes

 

[798686]

Joll, Joll, Joll, that poor old soul
Once put his cock in a toilet roll
But he got into a rut
When the damn thing got stuck
So now he sticks it in much bigger holes

Dude - I thought you agreed not to broadcast that little mishap in public?? :tongue: Hehehe

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Flame boy and joll had a thing …
Their sexual furies took wing;
Joll had his sweet way
And flame boy said “Hey –
From now on your banger’s my king.”

 

[JF]

Poor Joll lives in Wales.
They have a fondness for sheep.
He is happy there.

 

[luka82]

When luka was a pig he used to eat(men),
now when luka is a panda he chokes on banana