YEAR ONE: JIM’S SECRET
As Christmas approached, I felt bad for Jim. Most of us lived in the same, or neighbouring countries so all of us went back home for holidays. Dormitory had Christmas Eve supper organised by black community and one by latino community, but Jim had no plans of joining those – he felt he wouldn’t be welcome as one American stray. I knew I couldn’t invite him over to my place and it wouldn’t be okay for me to ask anyone to invite him to his place. So basically Jim was stuck in dormitory for last week of December, with most guys, including me, coming back just before New Years Eve.
We were growing closer, but we were both 10000000% straight, so any moment of physical closeness was a minefield of “what if I do something too gay and he calls me out”. I couldn’t help myself to think we were both in this stalemate. Still, he was definitely attracted to Martha and he was hanging out with her more and more.
Nicky never told Daria what happened that faithful night and I think Arthur could be gaslighted into believing it was all a hallucination. We never spoke about it since, but Nicky changed his favourite shower and now I sometimes see him on our floor, proudly showing off his cute hard-on and smiling my way. One time Danny slapped his naked ass so I joined in and gave him couple of spanks myself. He loved it. Nevertheless, we acted as if weird humping evening never happened and didn’t do much beyond fooling around in showers.
We all grew closer emotionally and crossed each other's physical boundaries.
When I was leaving for holidays, and Jim reached for a hug. It was suppose to be a straight one, with shoulder pat and a firm grip, but I felt his warm face on my neck, as if he was cuddling. Reading this as an invitation, I too leaned closer, caressing his neck with my nose and lips. NO KISSING THO THAT WOULD BE GAY and we were anything but gay.
I could go into details, about Christmas, but why?.
My mom asking me if I met a nice girl already, father killing a live carp for Christmas Eve making huge mess, all my aunts and uncles arguing over politics, little cousins being an annoyance, grandma hating on anything young people do, even if it’s breathing or existing, really. And my cousin, Sally the Bitch. Only her, a bottle of wine, and a week of shittalking our family kept me sane through the whole ordeal. I’m not into my cousin, but I have to acknowledge she is HOT. At 23, she was already doing her masters in Law. We were close but I never trusted her about intimate info on me, so I never told her about Jim or guys in the dormitory, also she never asked. She noted I changed and matured a bit, but I shrugged it off as a “finally living a big city life” and it was enough. But I really wanted to come back. So when opportunity presented itself, I got a ride from one of the uncles back to the city".
Christmas was snowless, but on 28th heavy, thick snow started falling, freezing city transport. Jim didn’t expect me, for I was suppose to be here on 30th, yet here I was, a day before. Afternoon was calm and not many people were in the dormitory so had to I sneak through the hallway not to cause much noise. Ready to say “surprise” I opened the room.
He was jerking off.
As soon as I opened the doors, Jim hid his dick under his t-shirt, close his legs and rolled his chair closer to desk so. I couldn’t even see his cock.
(Piture sent to me DMs, but yeah, t-shirt and jerking off)
“Duuude” he grunted, almost moaning “you are early!”.
I started laughing uncontrollably, went in, closed the door and smiled.
“Don’t worry you know we don’t have problem with it in this room”.
He was red. I could see his butt, but he covered everything else with his t-shirt. As I was passing by him I ruffled his hair. Stressed out and ashamed, Jim was still procesing what happened. He stood up, aware of my side eye glances and retreated to his bed, still holding shirt over his dick, took underwear and wore it.
A shame, but understanable. To break the tension, I asked:
“Who’s back from holidays?”.
“Fred is here, also Nicky, but he sleeps at Daria’s tonight” he smiled “Arthur said he’s gonna be here by the evening, Danny is coming back tommorow” he paused “a new guy just moved in, to next room”.
“Oh really” I said, unpacking my stuff “is he cool”.
“Yeah I talked to him, he’s from Mozambique” he smiled “I met black dudes on daily basis back in US but he is African black, not American black”.
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“Accent, attitude, and…” he paused “his body is like an athlete level body”.
Wow, Jim checking out male body, that’s new.
“Anyway, he’s cool” he continued “yesterday was the first time he saw snow in real life, he was playing with it outside, told him how to make snowballs, he had a blast”.
That’s it! I knew what we had to do. Afternoon was turning into early winter evening. I grabbed my coat and smiled.
“Let’s have a snowball fight”.
“Oh I’m gonna beat your ass” he said.
Not too long after, we had a great fight on a snowy evening, with low visibility and fresh snow, covering everything. At some point Jim tripped and I used an occasion to switch my position. He was sneaking on me, thinking im behind bushes, while I flanked his left, hiding behind garages. As soon and I had a nice angle, I launched with a series of rapid fire, but he was faster, ducking last moment. He was in plain sight so I had a chance to spam him with snowballs. He attempted a video-game style flip but snow was too slippery. He did catch fistfull of snow in both hands, quickly forming two small snowballs, hitting my chest. I wasn’t having that. We were now close, now not quality of snowballs mattered, but how fast we can make them. At some point it devolved into just throwing a lot of snow into each other’s faces. I took a handfull and lauched at Jim as he fell on the ground. Now I was laying on him, trying to smack his face with snow, as he held his own. Fight devolved into wrestling in the snow, our red and happy faces being so close we could kiss. At some point he rolled me over into a thick layer of snow, layed on me, crotch to crotch, and holding my hands pinned to the ground, as we stopped for a moment, panting. If he kissed me now, I thought, I would remember this day as a day I fell in love.
"I missed you man" he said, blessing me with his disarming smile as he let go of my hands.
"I missed you too, bro" i hugged him and pressed my cold, red cheek to his cheek.
Understanding will get sick soon, we headed back to dorm. As we enter the room, and start undressing, we realised, just how wet and sweaty we are. I take off my clothes and I know he will go to the bathroom to change. I’m standing there in my boxers and I see Jim’s body, through wet, thin tshirt, I see his nipples, pink and hard, from cold, I see water form melting snow dripping from his hair, through his collarbone. Jim looked at his shirt and realised I shows all of his body. Smiled at me, sighed and slowly started taking his shirt off.
I wish I could play it cool, but I couldn’t. I was staring and he knew it. Before his face was red from cold, and now new blush appeared. I saw his stomach, nice flat, with just barely visible v-lines. His chest had some muscle but looked very squishable, and he had absolutely gorgeous shoulders. I could see a bit of a body hair and a line going from his stomach into his boxers.
I’m not saying if this is him, but this is a great reference:
It happened. Jim took off his shirt for the first time. We were there, both standing in our boxers as i stared at him, stunned by his beauty. He gave me another of his adorable smiles and left for shower. I couldn’t compose myself, but I went there promptly. He was in his usual cabin, curtains closed tightly. When he emerged, it was just like always, in a fresh t-shirt and boxers. He left not saying a word.
I couldn’t control myself. I was rock hard.
I started jerking off in open shower area. I knew someone can walk in any time and I can simply retreat into one of the cabins, but thrill of doing it in public was amazing. I was thinking of his beautiful body and hard nipples, of his soulders and squishable chest. I could kiss and lick and touch every single square centimeter of this gorgeous body. He wasn’t a bodybuilder or a starving twink. He was just a normal slim dude with great bodytype I wish I could touch.
I almost forgot I’m in public when I heard door opening. It was Arthur. He saw me, even tho I turned away from the entrance. I glanced behind me and saw how he takes off his towel, revealing his half-hard, cock. His tattooed body was amazing and his dick was directed my way.
“Everyone else uses cabins for that” he said, stroking his cock.
His eyes were red. He was on some kind of drugs again.
Just to remind, this is bodytype Arthur had:
When he passed me by, close enough for me to feel his body and went to one of the cabins, i felt... invited? I went into one next to him. I heard him jerking off and moaning softly. I did the same, and soon he switched to my cabin, walking in, turning water on and looking at me as he was jerking his cock.
I never felt this turned on. We were jerking off looking at each other and running water made us safe from others finding out if they walked in. I knew he was into me and Nicky humping each other and he liked being massaged and touched by guys. He was beating his meat so hard, I was sure he will come. Then he puts his left hand of my shoulder and I did the same. Out foreheads touch as we look at each others cocks and locked in like this, jerk off. I wanted to help him out but here it was him who set the rules. I was fully a bottom right now. Before I knew it, I was squirting my load all over his belly and cock, as he moaned. Now his cock, covered in my cum, was making even more sound. Soon he shot load after load and squished my shoulder as he did. I kneeled and last load landed on my chest. I touched it, it was gooey and warm. That was the first time I saw another man’s cum.
He pushed us under the running water and started cleaning himself up. I reached for his cock and touched it, as it still twitched. He grabbed my hand.
“I’m not a homo” he said quietly but firmly “I just like fucked up shit, and this was fucked up”.
He left not saying another word.
I came back, very much bothered by what happened. I saw Jim watching some movie on his laptop. We grew so close recentely, and I realised I am living both a cute romance story and a porn video scenarios. Speaking of which, I looked at Jim’s movie and saw some couple cuddling in bed.
“Ooh is that a…” I started “no, it’s not porn is it”.
“No” Jim protested, as if i'm accusing him of some crime “I never watch porn”.
“Wait, like never-never?”.
“I do jerk off sometimes, but never to porn" he said, still as if he's explaining himself "I only watched it once out of my own will” he continued “other times it was always bullies showing me porn clips against my will".
I wasn’t surprised honestly, but this kind of confession still took me back.
“You do know, it’s not normal for a guy your age NOT to watch porn”.
He sighed.
“Well, i guess you should know something about me” he said, now calm “this might explain my weird behaviour”.
“Okay, if you want to share it” I said and took my chair closer to him "drop me some Jim-lore".
“Are you familiar with Church of Latter Day Saints?” he asked “maybe you know it as simply Mormonism?”.
Ahhhhhh suddenly all started making sense. I nodded in confirmation.
“I was born in a Mormon family, like super conservative one” I could see it was hard for him to share it “I never drank, never smoked, was isolated from girls and controlled all my life. We were wearing sacred garments, a white underwear that covered everything but my limbs. My family was so strict, they even disowned my older brother when he came out as gay, didn’t even believe him, when accused a high-ranking Church official of sexual exploitation”.
I didn’t feel comfortable listening to Jim sharing his trauma while my cock was shooting cum just a minute ago, but i knew it was important for him.
“Anyway, my family was torn apart by this” he continued “and soon we reached out to my brother, now living with a husband in another state. We left the Church and only after we did, I felt how it is to live in a world where no cult is controlling your life.”
He was visibly upset.
“Anyway, I felt like breaking all the rules so I went on an alcohol and drugs spree for a week” It was hard for him but I was glad he opened up about it “but I realised soon after, that I don’t want to change everything about my life, just the religion part. I wanted to keep things that were good. Morality, being clean and sober, not giving into all those temptation. I told myself if I can’t be a good person without manipulation of the Church, I was never a good person to begin with”.
OKAY THAT IS WAAAY TOO INTENSE FOR ME NOW. He looked at me as if searching for understanding.
“And now I’m confused... cause i see how you fall into all of those temptations” I loved how blunt we was about be being a pervert “but you are still a cool guy and a good friend."
Last part shook me. Jim knew nothing of me fantasising about fucking him in various sick ways, he had no idea I was doing stuff with his underwear, he had no idea I was humping Nicky and wanted him to cheat on his girlfriend while drugged Arthur was busting his nut all over himself. Jim really thought I was a good person, but I wasn’t. I was a piece of shit, and he was really, truly a good boi.
"My question is" he said "should I step out of my comfort zone and try things that I thought are immoral before, or should I keep to morals I was raised with, even though I don’t believe in eternal punishment if I don’t?”
“I have no idea, man” I said “I don’t think much of it, I kinda just with the flow”
We talked some more, late into the night. He shared his experience, i shared mine, and i felt like we were never closer before. At least now i know why he is like that.
I wasn’t jerking off that night.
I couldn't.